About the Author

I thought I should introduce myself in order for readers to better understand my perspective and purpose. So here’s a bit about me:

Present:

I’m in my late 20’s and had my first child in 2009 after years of infertility. I also graduated from college in 2009 (a few weeks before my daughter’s birth) with a Bachelors degree in Human Services. It took me 8 years to graduate due to finances, divorce, mental health and other issues. I have a very loving, and often equally challenging, relationship with a wonderful man. We are a working class couple. I work as a server in a corporate restaurant (it pays the bills, well some of them). He is an underemployed chef (he does the work of someone in  management at a line cooks pay grade). My partner had a kidney transplant (thanks to his sister who donated her kidney) after being on a waiting list for nearly 6 years. Our daughter is named after his sister (Kenisha) and my grandmother (Elizabeth). She is our miracle baby and her birth was the most empowering experience of my life. I am a Christian and I’m passionate about my relationship with Christ. Many people think that feminist Christian is an oxymoron, but I am passionate about both and rarely find conflicts between the two. I have a small circle of passionate and dedicated feminist friends. This is the best my life has ever been and I thank God for every minute of it.

Past:
This is where things get interesting. I am the eldest of 12 children. My mother married her husband when I was 2 years old. They have 11 children together. My father has been MIA since I was born. I’ve never met him. My family is extremely poor. My mother never worked; my step-father never let her. He was mostly a con man and never held a paying job for very long. We were on welfare for a while until social services caught on that none of us were attending school. I attended grades K-4 in a public school but was not enrolled in school after that. The only exception were some unaccredited private religious schools that we were put out of for non-payment & truancy.

I was like a substitute mother to my siblings. My mother was depressed. Her husband was verbally, mentally, physically and sexually abusive toward me. At fourteen, I ran away to get away from the abuse and have an opportunity to go to school. I thought that getting my education would make a way for me to rescue my siblings from the poverty and neglect of my parents home. Unfortunately, that was never possible. I haven’t seen any over them in nearly 15 years. I miss them more than I can bear at times.

This is of course a very truncated version of my background. I hope to expand upon in on this page, as well as, through my blog posts. I’m always open to questions and/or comments so feel free to do either/both below.

What does An “Other” Mother mean?

My blogger handle is a little play on words. If you are familiar with Kimberly Crenshaw’s intersectionality theory or the feminist theories of Bell Hooks, Audre Lorde, Cherrie MoragaPatricia Hill Collins or other non-white middle class feminists of the second wave, then you may have heard of the concept of the “other.” “Other” is anything other than the status quo. It’s the box that gets checked when you don’t fit in the rest of the boxes on the form. It’s how you get lost in the cracks, marginalized, ignored.

As a Puerto Rican-Italian woman who doesn’t speak Spanish, I’ve dealt with this type of “other-ness” my entire life. I just didn’t always have a name for it. I was never white enough for the white people and never Puerto Rican enough for the Latina/o and minority communities. So in essence, I am an “other” mother.

  1. August 2, 2010 at 10:09 am

    Hey!!!!! It’s so great to see that you’re documenting this amazing experience! This will be helpful when I should become a mother one day! 🙂 You may have inspired me to do a section on Corporate Feminism, “How to be a Feminist in an All Boys Club.” I have to get back in touch with my roots.

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